Stress, worry, and anxiety are common problems that many of us experience from time to time. However, as everyone knows, we are living in uncertain times right now as we face the Coronavirus Pandemic. As humans, during uncertain times, our stress, worry, and anxiety accelerate, and this pandemic has done just that for many. The world, as we knew it has changed drastically in the last few weeks. As Americans, this is the first time we are experiencing anything of this caliber. Given the news coverage, it is hard not to worry about what this all means for our loved ones and for us.

The pandemic has already caused a financial crisis for many industries. One of those industries is the Hospitality Industry, where thousands of people have been laid off or furloughed from one day to the other. For those dealing with the loss of a job on top of the unknown, it can feel incredibly overwhelming, leading to anxiety or depression.

We all handle our stress and our emotions differently, and this is something we need to keep in mind as we practice social distancing. We are left at home with our loved ones, and this new normal has us together 24/7, which for many, could be an adjustment that takes time.

Like you and most households, I’ve experienced this in my own home in the last couple of weeks. I’ve always worked from home, so that for me is not different. But like many, my spouse is now at home also. This is not a bad thing; however, we both handle stress differently, and this pandemic has created another level of stress for us. 

You see, I handle things by continuing with my routines and keeping myself busy. On the other hand, my husband wants to be informed and is glued to the news channels. I’ve maintained my morning routines with prayer, dog walks, and yoga. He has had trouble sleeping and, as a result, feels irritated. My spiritual meetings have moved to Zoom meetings, and he has disconnected himself from his meetings. The differences in our self-care routines have shown. I am not as stressed, and his anxiety levels have increased.  

I have to admit that the first week of this new household routine took a toll on us. Our patience with each other decreased, and we argued more. But then one day, after asking myself what could be happening, I realized that his mood swings were coming from a place of fear. Fear for our future and what can happen to us. That’s when I realized that for us to get back to loving each other, I needed to show compassion and my routine needed to include him. 

I share this with you because I know we are not alone. I know there are many couples and households that may be experiencing the same challenges and I want you to know that you are not alone. This is the time that we all need to be compassionate and loving towards one another, even when we don’t feel like it. 

Worry and fear come from thinking about the future. It is natural to worry during uncertain times like these. But if you feel that your anxiety is becoming excessive and taking over your life, then it’s crucial to take steps to manage your wellbeing with self-care.

How do you know when worry is taking over your life?

• You have restlessness, unable to relax or problems sleeping that can include strange dreams/nightmares.
• You feel upset, short-tempered, or exhausted all the time. 
• You are experiencing difficulty concentrating, staying focused, or working.
• You feel unexplained muscle tension, aches, and pains.

In addition to compassion, it is essential to practice self-care techniques. One of my favorite self-care techniques is mindfulness. Mindfulness is a technique that will help you cope with the worry. Mindfulness is staying in the present. If you feel any of the symptoms listed above, then this is the time to stay in the moment and not think about what could happen. Mindfulness will help you do this.

Here are a few mindfulness exercises that you can do to help you deal with your worry and anxiety:

• Focus on your breath throughout the day. Make sure you are taking deep breaths. Take 10 deep breaths when you feel the worry or anxiety coming on.
• Pick a color and take a walk. As you walk, look around for all the things you can identify that are in that color. This will take your mind off the negativity.
• Daily Journal: A daily practice can help you release your anxiety. Journal about how you feel and what you can do to release those feelings or keep a gratitude journal.

The unknown can be scary. Self-care and compassion are most important now more than ever. It is essential to take this time to do what makes you feel good. To be you while caring for your loved ones too.

Another way to look after yourself is by keeping a daily routine. This doesn’t have to be super structured, but it should include:

1. Things that give you a sense of achievement: Cleaning out closets, doing your taxes, taking an online course, etc.
2. Things that help you feel close and connected: Calling friends and family, setting up a Zoom call so that you can all see each other, or playing a card game at home.
3. Things that bring you pleasure and joy: Reading a book, binge-watching your favorite series, dancing, singing, doing something creative, or trying something new.

Lastly, it’s okay to feel – move through your emotions. It’s okay to cry, shout, or scream. Just be mindful not to take it out on your loved ones, and if your loved ones need to cry, shout or scream, encourage them to do so and be there for them. We are all in this together, and we can get through it by taking care of ourselves and each other.

I am going to start a free support group via Zoom, and it will take place weekly on Wednesdays from noon to 1 pm (EST).  Everyone is invited. These will be purely support sessions, there will not be much structure, and I will not be selling anything at the end. We may have some topics to help us get our conversations started, and that will be the only structure. The idea is to have a support group that is a safe space where we can all be authentic as we continue to face the uncertain future of Covid-19.

Edited 3/30/20: Register on Evenbrite If you are interested in participating by clicking on this link: https://face-everything-and-rise-free-weekly-support-group.eventbrite.com

You will receive a link for the Zoom call once you register. The first call will take place this coming Wed, April 1st. If you know of anyone that may be interested, feel free to forward this article and/or just give them my email address.

Let’s keep ourselves healthy – mind, body, and soul. 

Blessings to all,

Vimari

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” Brian Tracy

♡

This year has been the year that I have decided to push my boundaries. I am purposely stepping out of my comfort zone weekly in order to continue growing. Stepping out of your comfort zone is not always easy. But once you do, I promise that the feeling will be amazing.

♡

We have reached July 2nd – the first Monday of the mid-year point. This is a good time to look at the last six months, evaluate your goals, do some shifting if you need to and step out of your comfort zone.

Here are 12 ways you can push yourself out of your comfort zone daily:

1. Take the first stepAll you need to do is to take the first step. It will be difficult. The first day at the gym is the worst. The opening line of your story takes the longest time….etc. But as you gain momentum, it is easier to keep moving.

2. Put yourself in a new environment

Begin with some small changes that do not present any real threat, such as eating at a different restaurant in a different part of town, or attending an art exhibit. The idea is to place yourself in new areas where you control the interaction.

3. Don’t pick the safe choice

Every time you’re making a choice, one choice is the safe/comfortable choice, and one choice is the risky/uncomfortable choice. The risky/uncomfortable choice is the one that will teach you the most and make you grow the most, so that’s the one you should choose.

4. Take a different route home

If you drive or walk a different route, you will see different things. In a small way, that increases your view of the world. That is just an easy way to start. After that, you can make more drastic changes. Eventually, you will feel comfortable thinking out of the box. 

5. Make a snap decisionIt doesn’t have to be a life-or-death decision. Anything from choosing a restaurant to shopping. Just make a choice that’s unusual for your routine without overthinking it.

If that still sounds daunting, flip a coin. Yes, I am serious! Flip a coin over the decision and stick to it. I do it all the time and end up glad that I did (mostly).

Eliminating the need for mulling over a decision greatly boosts the process of stepping out of our comfort zones. Plus, snap decisions instill a feeling of self-trust. So, like Nike ‘just do it.’

6. Consider other points of view

Surround yourself with very smart people who are a little bit arrogant and disagree with you on many things. Make sure to debate ideas with them, in a civil way, which will cause you to re-examine your beliefs.

7. Say “yes” more often

Say yes even when you don’t think you’re ready. … If you are working, say yes to new projects, new assignments, new roles — even when you have not done it before. It opens up huge opportunities in your career. Who knows — you might find yourself enjoying something you never got the chance to explore earlier.

8. Volunteer

Preferably, make it a learning experience. Pick something you’re very unfamiliar with and soak up everything you can while also making yourself useful.

9. Do what you’re afraid of 

New mindset. It goes like this: Does this scare me? Then I have to do it. That’s how you conquer fear. It never goes away, you just learn how to ride that energy.

10. Create challenges to push yourself in areas you want to improve

Decide on a few challenges (and their triggers) for yourself designed to push you outside of your comfort zone in areas you want to develop.

• Next time you see a handsome boy or girl (trigger) you have to go and talk to him/her (challenge).

• Next time you go buy a cup of coffee (trigger) ask for a 10% discount (challenge).

• Next time you find yourself making eye contact with a stranger (trigger) keep it until they look away (challenge).

• Next time someone asks you how you are (trigger) respond by saying you are great/fantastic instead of just ‘good’ (challenge).

Just focus on these triggers and don’t make any excuses. It’ll become a habit after a while.

11. Allow others to decide for you

I make all the travel plans for my husband and I. If he was in charge we wouldn’t go anywhere. So, catch hold of friends who are more outgoing than you. Let them make the plans, and just go with it.

12. Remember that tomorrow is a new day

It helps to remember that what doesn’t kill you generally really does make you stronger — you will survive, you will heal, you will learn something, you will have a better chance of emerging unscathed next time.

♡

My challenge to you today is to put some of these into practice this next couple of weeks to step out of your comfort zone then email me at vimari@beproductivecoaching.com and let me know how it goes.

Know someone that could step out of their comfort zone? Share with them via Facebook, Email or Twitter.

Self-control and discipline. Both of these actions go hand and in hand. You can’t have self control without discipline. Our level of both significantly affects the level of happiness we experience. As Matthew Kelly puts it in his book “Mastery of self and happiness are intimately connected.” So what is self-control? Self-control is the gateway to freedom. So many of us struggle with appetites and impulses which lead to addiction. This could be anything that we do on impulse such as shopping, gambling, eating, drinking, working, social media and so on.

How do we break from these addictions? One way is fasting. Giving yourself a break from whatever you feel has that control over you. Personally, I like to practice my fasting during lent which is 40 days. This year, I gave up my number one addiction which is coffee. I love my coffee. But I gave it up because I want to be free. I also gave up my wine and bubbles which are my go-to alcoholic beverages and lastly, I gave up Facebook. In giving these things up I felt and saw the difference it had made in my life. The sense of freedom and knowing that I can do anything that I put my mind to brings me joy. Don’t take me wrong, I especially missed my coffee but when I thought about it I said to myself “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” and then I quickly got myself busy or drank a cup of decaf tea.

We all can do this. For example, if your addiction or thing you want to practice self-control with is soda then when your body asks for soda ask yourself these two questions:

1. Why did I give up soda?
2. What could happen if I drink the soda?
3. Is this really what I want?

After you answer these three questions, reply to yourself and say “no, we will have water or juice today because of ____”.

When you are shopping and you have an impulse to buy something ask yourself “do I really need this?” If you are in the middle of your day and have deadlines but your mind wonders and you have the urge to go into Facebook ask yourself the three questions above and remind yourself of what is most important at that moment, and what a time waster Facebook can be at times and fight that urge.

Addictions aren’t always food, shopping, or social media, sometimes they can be behaviors such as criticizing yourself and others, complaining or procrastination. You can fast from these also and free yourself from these behaviors. Try it. Practice self-control and I promise you will accomplish so much. I’ll end by sharing this quote from John of the Cross in the book Perfectly Yourself:

“A bird, whether it is tied down by a thread or a chain, still cannot fly.”

What is tying you down? What is it in your life that is stopping you from flying?