Whom do you need to forgive today?

“Forgiveness will unleash a power in your life that is underrated and often ignored.”   – Allen R. Hunt – Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody

With forgiveness comes growth and grace for yourself and others. When we forgive others we are removing negativity from our hearts and minds. 

 I’ve truly never been one to hold grudges, anger, or bitterness in my heart towards anything or anyone. My motto since High School was “no regrets”. That meant that I gave myself permission to make mistakes, to love, and to live. When we truly live our lives we risk getting hurt and I can tell you that there have been many instances in where I’ve found myself having to forgive.

Unforgiveness and grudge hurt us more than it hurts the person that actually did the hurting, betraying, breaking of trust, and caused us intense emotional pain. Often times you’ll see that as my friend Nesa reminded me this week “hurt people…hurt people”. 

 I’ll share a little story with you. In 1994, what should have been perhaps my first great accomplishment as I was graduating from high school, turned into possibly one of the worst days I had experience in 17 years. This experience took place because a hurt person decided to hurt others. I’ll spare you the details but I’ll share enough to give you some overall context.

The incident ended in my first and last physical fight (other than being a young girl fighting with her brother and cousin). I reacted to someone’s disrespectful behavior towards me and a loved one. At 17, I didn’t really think about the consequences, I just reacted to the hurt. Up to this day, I have very faded memories of what took place immediately after the incident. But I can tell you that within just a few weeks or months that day turned into what I viewed then… as the biggest betrayal by a loved one.

After that betrayal, I didn’t speak to my loved one for a little while but due to the nature of the relationship, I was not able to keep that ugliness and grudge in my heart. But the bitterness and hatred that I felt for that other person were greater than any negative feelings I had ever felt. And if I have to be quite honest, those are still the worst feelings I’ve ever held in my heart towards anyone in my 44 years. I held those feelings for quite some time and truth be told, I can’t remember how long because I’ve erased much of that experience and those feelings from my heart and my mind. But in order to bring closure to this story, I have to share with you what led to the forgiveness. 

This is the first time that I am sharing this story. I think I’ve maybe shared it once or twice in the past with a close friend. Prior to forgiveness, I had nightmares often where I pictured a different ending to that physical fight. In many of those nightmares, I was able to get my revenge. One night, I had this horrible nightmare worst than any other.

**Warning..as this may be a trigger for some of you who may have faced physical abuse or violence. If so, then you may not want to continue reading.** 

Anyhow, in this nightmare, I was fighting with this person and I literally chopped their head off and grabbed the head by the hair, turned on the gas stove, and threw the head on top of my gas stove. As you can imagine that was a horrible nightmare to wake up from. I may not remember a lot or how long I held those feelings in my heart but I do remember that vivid dream. I woke up a wreck because that wasn’t me. That wasn’t an action that I would ever take or ever desire to take. That nightmare scared me. It scared me because I didn’t understand how my mind could go there. And that was the day that I decided to forgive.

That was the day that I realized that those feelings were only hurting me. This person had moved on with their lives and so had my loved one. Yet, I was holding this hatred and grudge in my heart. That was the day that I realized that bitterness and anger were holding me back from greatness. On that very same day, I got on my knees and prayed. I got on my knees and prayed for all those feelings to go away. And I realized that in addition to praying I needed to forgive for the feelings to actually go away. I had to say it out loud in order to relieve myself from what I was feeling.

I have to admit that as I write this to you today, I have tears coming down my face. I cry because in writing this I realize the power that came with overcoming that hatred and being able to forgive. I don’t cry because it still hurts, because it doesn’t, I cry because the hurt was significant, and it was a significant moment in my life.

Sometimes life gives us those significant moments in order for us to be stronger and to grow. And unfortunately, sometimes those moments come with suffering and pain. But until we forgive, until we forgive ourselves, until we forgive whoever hurt us…we are not able to move forward and grow. 

It takes a lot to forgive others and to forgive ourselves when we are the ones to put ourselves in hurtful situations. But that’s where we need to look up to our creator, look up to God and ask for strength. In practicing forgiveness we strengthen our mental muscles so that the next time we face something that hurts us we are able to utilize our mental muscles to help us move through that pain. We are able to activate the Sage part of our brain where positive emotions live (peace and calm, clear-headed focus, creativity, and big picture) to bring in the gift that situation has presented us. Because every situation, every heartache comes with a gift and we can access those gifts if we train ourselves to do so. Your Sage will help you access the gift of knowledge, power, and inspiration. 

Once we choose to see the gift, that gift will help us continue to move forward with forgiveness. In my story, I chose the gifts of knowledge and power. I remember learning whom to trust and allow in my life from that experience, and I also learned that I have the power to overcome my feelings and shift my thoughts. 

So, I ask you again, whom do you need to forgive today?

With love and gratitude, 

Vimari  

Mental Fitness is the X-Factor!

Interested in learning how to strengthen your Mental Muscles so that you can access your Sage and find the gift in everything?

I have one (1) seat left for my next 6-week Mental Fitness Positive Intelligence (PQ) Program starting this coming Saturday, Sept 11th.

I’ve extended the LaborDayFam 25% discount…you have just 24-hours to register by 2 pm tomorrow Friday, Sept 9th. Register NOW:  www.eventbrite.com/e/167881745821/?discount=LaborDayFam

It’s Halftime: Steps to Navigating Your Transition

“I had a successful career yet I knew there was something even more significant I wanted to do with my life.”


This was me when I hit the “halftime” in my career and personally. I had achieved success, titles, corner offices, bonuses, and the six-figure salary in a 22-year career but I knew there was much more to life. I also knew that I didn’t have the right partner to spend the next half with. 🤯

I knew that I needed to serve at a higher level. NO that didn’t mean a higher title or salary. It meant that I needed to utilize my God-given talents to serve others and truly leave a legacy.

I knew I wanted to feel honored and loved. I wanted a life partner that I trusted and enjoyed being with, and that supported my need for service.

My halftime took place in 2013. Within a few months, I separated from my last corporate job, got divorced, and started my own business.

That transition took guts and it took strong mental muscles. It took me believing in myself and what God had planned for me. 💪🏼🙏🏼🧠
Today, I feel blessed to have had that halftime awakening because I now get to use my talents to do work that fulfills me while serving others. I get to share my life with a partner that I enjoy spending time with. A partner that loves and honors me. I’ve done more in the last eight (8) years than I did in 22 and the good news is that YOU CAN TOO!

Whether it be in your career or personal life, you’re in “halftime” when you face a transition that leaves you asking “what’s next?” Halftime is not determined by age but rather by stage.

You are in the halftime stage if you…

💥 You leave work each night feeling stressed, deflated, sad, and uninspired.
💥 You are no longer excited or challenged in your position or workplace.
💥 Your relationships and physical health are suffering from the anxiety you feel.
💥 You want to feel confident again.
💥 You want to feel excited and fulfilled doing work that will make a difference.
💥 You want to feel closer than ever before to God, your spouse, and your family.
💥 You want greater clarity to redefine your goals, passions, and purpose.

If this sounds like you then this means that you are ready to venture and journey towards your life’s purpose. You are ready for greater significance!

Now you are probably wondering, okay, so what’s next? How do I move forward with this transition?

I am not going to lie, transitions take time but the good news is that you are not alone and there are many steps you can take to help you navigate this halftime. The first thing is to take action – Action Always Beats Intention!

💥 Align yourself with other leaders making a difference in your areas of interest.

💥 Keep moving forward – have faith that you will soon discover your next steps and take one action each day that will help you get closer.

💥 Go back to your younger self and ask “what did you want to be when you grew up?” Listen to your younger self and write down what he/she tells you.

💥 Go inward: think about what moves you, what brings you joy, and what you would want more of in your life. Then do start doing more of that.

💥 Strengthen your mental muscles. Transitions take strong mental muscles, motivation, and peak performance. You’ll need to be dramatically calm and clear to create lasting change. The best leaders, athletes, and entrepreneurs have strong mental muscles. Yet 80% of people score below the minimum level of mental fitness required for peak performance and happiness. You’ll need to implement mental fitness to build strong mental muscles to help you navigate your saboteurs when they attack you. Take your free saboteur assessment so that you can recognize your saboteurs and be ready when they get ready to hijack you: https://assessment.positiveintelligence.com/saboteur/overview

💥 Get someone in your corner that can help you. This could be a friend, an ex-colleague, a mentor, or a coach. If you hire a coach make sure it’s someone who works in this area of expertise and has some references.
If you find yourself in “Halftime” then I want to congratulate you. Take these steps and you’ll find that your second half can be even better than your first.

If you want someone who’s in your corner to help you navigate this transition, I can help. 👋 Schedule a free coaching session: www.beproductivecoaching.com/contact

Shift from Perfect Order to Perfect Harmony

I want to invite you to shift your perspective from perfect order to perfect harmony.

As some of you know, my husband and I have a 16-year-old Chocolate Labrador (Shadow), and last week I received a text from a dear friend with the most adorable picture of a 10-month-old Chocolate Labrador that needed a new home. I wasn’t interested in getting a second dog but my husband has been asking to get a second dog for about a year. My concern has always been my Shadow. How will he adjust as an only child?! But in seeing this sweet face I told myself that I would inquire and if it was meant to be it would be. We took our Shadow to meet the puppy and they did well and we slept on the decision before deciding to bring the puppy home this past Friday. We knew our 16 years old would take some time before he would adjust to our new family of four but neither of us knew what to expect when integrating a new dog into the pack. However, we learned quickly that it will take some time and that’s when we shifted our routines from perfect order to perfect harmony.

This tip can apply to any situation especially for those of you who may have the “Stickler” as a top saboteur. It takes strong mental muscles not to allow your saboteurs to hijack your mind by a sudden change of routine or situation. 

Thanks to my work with Positive Intelligence (PQ), I’ve made Mental Fitness my X-Factor and I’ve helped my husband navigate his saboteurs as well.

The good news is that – you can too!

I invite you to join my next 6-week Mental Fitness Positive Intelligence Program starting September 11th.

As humans, it’s impossible for us to feel happy & joyful ALL the time. Our emotional hijackings often sabotage peak performance. Stress, anxiety, anger, disappointment, blame, guilt, sadness, and self-doubt attack everyone. 🤯

One of the best differentiators of world-class athletes vs. runner-ups is their ability to recover faster from mistakes, failures, or negative interactions. The best leaders, athletes, and entrepreneurs have strong mental muscles. 💪🏆

The quicker we can get ourselves centered and clear-headed, the more productive we will be. This program will teach you how to quiet the saboteurs that are running around in your head & strengthen your mental fitness muscles so that you can build your capacity to respond to life’s challenges with a positive mindset. It impacts peak performance, peace of mind and wellness, and healthy relationships. The foundations are based on Positive Psychology, Cognitive Psychology, and Performance Science.

You can learn more about the Positive Intelligence work here: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/program/ and you can take your free saboteur assessment by going to this link: https://assessment.positiveintelligence.com/saboteur/overview
If you take the assessment, don’t forget to share your results with me via email at vimari@beproductivecoaching.com

The program retails for $995 on the Positive Intelligence website, and as a Certified Mental Fitness Coach, I am able to bundle the program and offer you and your friends my support and coaching through the process. I cannot publish the bundle and discount, but I am happy to give you the details over the phone. I only have four seats left to fill for this next start date. If you are interested in participating or learning more, schedule a time on my calendar for us to speak by choosing a time before Friday that is most convenient for you www.beproductivecoaching.com/contact

This work is fantastic, and I would love for you to experience it with me! 

Hugs,
Vimari 

p.s. Meet Zeke! 
Small businesses grow by word of mouth and referrals. Refer a friend to any of my Career Strategy or High-Performance Coaching services and receive a $50.00 VISA/MC gift card. Thank you in advance for thinking of me!

The referral program applies to new clients only (previous and existing clients are not considered referrals). Gift cards will be sent out after the new client has paid for their service. Visit www.beproductivecoaching.com for a list of services.

Mental Fitness Positive Intelligence 6-Week Program

I am super excited that my first Crushing Mental Fitness Positive Intelligence 6-week program filled up in less than five (5) days!! 💪

The next program starts June 19th and enrollment begins May 10th.

As humans, it’s almost impossible for us to feel happy & joyful ALL the time. Peak performance is often sabotaged by our emotional hijackings. Stress, anxiety, anger, disappointment, blame, guilt, sadness, self-doubt, and so on attacks all of us. 🤷‍♀️🤯

Negative emotions have a purpose yet we don’t allow ourselves to feel them or we get stuck in them.The key is to only stay in these emotions for quick seconds & quickly recover back to feeling centered, grounded, and powerful. 🧘‍♀️🧘‍♂️🙏

One of the best differentiators between world class athletes vs runner ups is their ability to recover faster from mistakes & failures or negative interactions.The best leaders, athletes and entrepreneurs have strong mental muscles. 💪🏆

The quicker we can get ourselves centered and clear headed the more productive we will be. 🧠💪🙆‍♀️

If you think you would get value from strengthening your mental fitness, then I invite you to sign up for the next program starting June 19th. Enrollment begins May 10th.

In only 15 minutes per day and one weekly group session, you’ll learn about your top saboteurs and how to strengthen your mental fitness muscles.

Schedule a free consultation now to learn more and sign up for this life-changing experience: 👩‍💻👨‍💻 www.beproductivecoaching.com/contact